The remake of Total Recall (deemed Total Recall 2012) is upon us, meeting with a frenzy of interest while getting slammed by the critics. But we at SandwichJohn (MattInRC) take a more disciplined approach, and have found many aspects of the new version that kick ass over the original. We think there are clear reasons why TR2012 makes the original its little bitch. What are they? Let's find out.
No Mars: Frankly, the idea that Arnold would go to the Red Planet, stick his fingers in some sort of Polish Vulcan arrangement, and suddenly turn the planet into Earth 2 was hard to justify when it came out. Now that we actually know the difficulty of sending people to Mars, the idea is even more wacky. The mutants were silly, and the idea that Arnold and Rachel Ticotin could survive for any longer than 2 seconds without air was ridiculous.
Advantage: TR2012
Ridiculous One-Liners: At the time, hearing Arnold state emphatically "Consider it a divorce" after popping a cap in Sharon Stone's head was funny and so like the Governator. Now, it just sounds stupid. There was great dialogue in the new version about what Rekall could do for people, and the effect the biological war had wrecked upon the Earth. I don't want cheese unless it's a parody, or I have a glass of wine in my hand.
Advantage: TR2012
Kate Beckinsdale: Granted, idolizing Sharon Stone took up a significant amount of my personal time as a kid, but Beckinsdale is hands down one of the most beautiful women in film. Moreover, she was given better lines to speak. And her 'tenacity' in pursuing Quaid came right down to the end, allowing her to steal every scene she was in. Just think: Len Wiseman is tapping that every night - damn...
Advantage: TR2012
CGI vs. Models: True, movies like Blade Runner, Star Wars, and 2001 are brilliant for their scale models as much as their stories. TF2012's worn look (ala Ridley Scott) is just what the futuristic doctor ordered. Floating cars and cities, dynamic chase scenes, and the serene 'clean' interiors of the core shuttle are much cooler than silly Mars sets.
Advantage: TR2012
Quatto vs. A Biological War
True, the idea of an alien presence who challenges Arnold to "Open Your Mind" is somewhat appealing, provided that the model doesn't look like Yoda from Episode I. Unfortunately, the final product is...well...disappointing to say the least. A biological war is sadly more likely to happen before an alien steps foot on Earth soil, which lends more credibility to TR2012. And besides, three-breasted women (while highly desirable) just ain't likely. Did I mention Kate Beckinsdale is in this version as well?
Advantage: TR2012
So in a clear domination, Total Recall 2012 proves remakes can be better than their originals. Agree? Disagree? Wanna add or debate our highly scientific findings?
Knock yourself out in our COMMENTS section.
Please Leave A Comment-
No Mars: Frankly, the idea that Arnold would go to the Red Planet, stick his fingers in some sort of Polish Vulcan arrangement, and suddenly turn the planet into Earth 2 was hard to justify when it came out. Now that we actually know the difficulty of sending people to Mars, the idea is even more wacky. The mutants were silly, and the idea that Arnold and Rachel Ticotin could survive for any longer than 2 seconds without air was ridiculous.
Advantage: TR2012
Ridiculous One-Liners: At the time, hearing Arnold state emphatically "Consider it a divorce" after popping a cap in Sharon Stone's head was funny and so like the Governator. Now, it just sounds stupid. There was great dialogue in the new version about what Rekall could do for people, and the effect the biological war had wrecked upon the Earth. I don't want cheese unless it's a parody, or I have a glass of wine in my hand.
Advantage: TR2012
Kate Beckinsdale: Granted, idolizing Sharon Stone took up a significant amount of my personal time as a kid, but Beckinsdale is hands down one of the most beautiful women in film. Moreover, she was given better lines to speak. And her 'tenacity' in pursuing Quaid came right down to the end, allowing her to steal every scene she was in. Just think: Len Wiseman is tapping that every night - damn...
Advantage: TR2012
CGI vs. Models: True, movies like Blade Runner, Star Wars, and 2001 are brilliant for their scale models as much as their stories. TF2012's worn look (ala Ridley Scott) is just what the futuristic doctor ordered. Floating cars and cities, dynamic chase scenes, and the serene 'clean' interiors of the core shuttle are much cooler than silly Mars sets.
Advantage: TR2012
Quatto vs. A Biological War
True, the idea of an alien presence who challenges Arnold to "Open Your Mind" is somewhat appealing, provided that the model doesn't look like Yoda from Episode I. Unfortunately, the final product is...well...disappointing to say the least. A biological war is sadly more likely to happen before an alien steps foot on Earth soil, which lends more credibility to TR2012. And besides, three-breasted women (while highly desirable) just ain't likely. Did I mention Kate Beckinsdale is in this version as well?
Advantage: TR2012
So in a clear domination, Total Recall 2012 proves remakes can be better than their originals. Agree? Disagree? Wanna add or debate our highly scientific findings?
Knock yourself out in our COMMENTS section.
Please Leave A Comment-
Comments