Crooked Arrows DVD review
By: MattInRC
While watching the feel-good Crooked Arrows, one can't help but ask: Can someone get former Superman Brandon Routh a Justice League...please?11
There was a time when Brandon Routh's star seemed as high as Superman could fly; but after one of the most disappointing films of 2006 tanked in front of critics and at the box office (more bad script than Routh's spot-on portrayal), Superman Returns signaled a slow descent for Routh that's been painful to watch. Saddled with projects that were truly beneath him, the former Man of Steel seems like a man out of place, as if the blame for Superman Returns was his alone to bear. Crooked Arrows is just another sad example of how far Routh has fallen, with a story that can't decide what it is.
Apparently, the world of high school lacrosse is a high-stakes affair. This game that's part hockey, part football, part basketball is owned by a fictitious upstate New York team called Coventry School, whose dominance on the field is matched only by their arrogance. Enter the inept punching bag that is the equally fictional Sunaquat tribe, who claims the sport as a 1,000 year tradition but whose on-the-field struggles are strictly laughable. But not all is bad: the local casino, run by former lacrosse prep star Joe Logan (Brandon Routh, Superman Returns), has provided for a new school, but Logan's boss wants to expand. When the tribal council approves the expansion over the objections of Logan's father Ben (Gil Birmingham, Twilight series), the council requires that Joe go on a spiritual quest (huh?), which Ben decides will happen via coaching that same inept high school squad. "Restore pride to our people and their game," Ben tells Joe. "Let it heal you." As the team claws its way back to respectability, their old nemesis Coventry School (where Joe once played) returns for one final game and a chance for Joe to redeem himself after his casino boss changes the expansion agreement without his approval.
If the checked-out acting behind Crooked Arrows doesn't put you to sleep, the uninspiring story will. A movie about high school lacrosse is hard enough to get excited about, but it doesn't help when things remind one of an after-school special. The story by Brad Riddel and Todd Baird is entirely too predictable and therefore too implausible for anyone to take seriously. While it's nice to see so many faces in the sport (from college coaches to supposed stars - I didn't know lacrosse had any) show up for final act, there's little about the game itself on display. Unlike the popular basketball, immortalized in the classic Hoosiers, Crooked Arrows could have benefited from less showboating and more fundamentals to inspire audiences about how the game works. Instead, we get four failed plots, including a laughable one about Joe's dead mother returning as an eagle to watch over her son. Director Steve Rash gets points for respecting Native American traditions and culture, but he can't inspire any real performances from his actors. Even Routh seems out of place here, as he and our actors muddle their way through dialogue that can't decide if it's a movie about lacrosse, the tenacity of the Native American people, or a story about man re-discovering his way. Sadly, Crooked Arrows gets none of them right.
Crooked Arrows goes for the heartstrings, but misses the net badly. And while it's true that the Onodada Nation partially funded this film, they should have spent more time demanding a better story, cast, and crew. Inspiring it's not; predictable it is. You're best to skip Crooked Arrows, especially if you expect Superman to swoop in and save this film from itself. Oh, Brandon Routh, where have you gone? Crooked Arrows is rated PG-13 for language and a brief locker room scene.
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